Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
