Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
