Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
