i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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