as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
