I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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