Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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