can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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