I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
