i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
