please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
