Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
