so explain again why im purple
no
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
