The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
