Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
