Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
