Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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