no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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