this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He? As in you personified your dick?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So here I am, sexting at work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
