haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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