my vag is so smooth its legendary
only if we run a train.
done.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
