apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
