i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
