how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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