So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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