playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
