Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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