why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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