Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
