The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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