Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
