nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I will be naked everywhere
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
