How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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