i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
