TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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