he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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