You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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