ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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