..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
