so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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