Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
