I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Floor bacon is actually really good
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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