my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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