When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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