I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
