dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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