my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
sex in a hospital.. check
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
