i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
