Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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