Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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