either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your dad touched me again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
