Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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